Dr. Max & Molly Baz in Conversation
On a Sunny Sunday…
On April 26th, friends of Dr. Max and Molly Baz gathered in Santa Monica, CA. Guests mingled over snacks and backyard bliss, while the sounds of babies and toddlers filled the space alongside parents eager to ask questions and learn from the two hosts.
Together, through ticket sales and donations, we raised over $10,000 in support of Lucha / Poder Popular.
Some questions were submitted anonymously ahead of time, via sign-ups and DMs, while others were asked on the spot. The conversation unfolded over a 40-minute Q&A.
Below is a full, unfiltered look at what was shared.
Postpartum & Work
Q:
How to get through a rough postpartum when your job is demanding and not super supportive but you need the money and benefits as a parent?
Molly:
I think that this is a challenging one. I’m someone who works a lot. I think that carving out time for myself was really important and leaning on people around me to enable me to do that, such as my husband but also just other people in my community.
So I think it’s a matter of giving your all to whatever is right in front of you and then carving out time for yourself, whether it be like a 30 minute or one hour, whatever you can get, and not feeling bad about asking for what you need.
I think that it’s really hard for a partner to really know what the postpartum experience is like. And so the more that you can just voice what you need and share in that experience, the better that they can support you.
Don’t ever feel alone and ask for help wherever you can.
Dr. Max:
Yeah, and to that I’d just add that this question comes up a lot in my practice about how to navigate returning to work when you’re a parent and feeling like you’re doing something negligent because you have to return to work and you may need to leave your child with another type of caregiver.
And I really truly believe that infants and children have evolved in communities throughout time. And it’s really a modern day idea of a nuclear family… that if you can’t do it all on your own, all of a sudden you’re not doing it well.
And I don’t think that’s true. I think you have to rely on a community to help raise your child… and it’s not like you’re doing anything negligent because you can’t take care of a kid 24/7.
Fevers
Q:
Fevers stress me out every time. How do I know when it’s fine versus when it’s actually a problem?
Molly:
My answer is text Dr. Max…
I feel like as I went through my texts there was like four or five different ones… like “101, should I be concerned?” “102, are we worried?”
And Dr. Max would always just be like no, as long as the signs that your baby is presenting are like they’re alert and they’re not lethargic and they’re still eating.
So I’ve now learned not to rush to the emergency room and to look at other signs other than just the fever.
Dr. Max:
Yeah, that’s it. It’s always look at your kid, not the number.
One, you need an accurate temperature… everybody is doing these forehead thermometers, which aren’t super accurate, so unfortunately you just need to do a rectal temperature.
Molly: you can use lube—
Dr. Max: And then number two, it’s more about how your kid looks/seems.
You can have a kid that has an ear infection and is super sick with a fever, whereas you could have a kid that has roseola and a fever and they’re kind of doing okay.
So it’s not necessarily the number… it’s more about how your kid is behaving with the fever.
Boogers / Congestion
Q:
Any tips for boogers?
Dr. Max:
I can’t even recommend this to patients… but what has worked best for me is you just put your mouth over your kid’s nose and you suck.
I’m really sorry—
But let me tell you… the nose Frida is not that much better…
Molly:
A little nasal saline spray to loosen things up and then suction a little bit.
You need to get that stuff out one way or another.
Holding Babies
Q:
If you carry your baby too much, will they become dependent and manipulate you?
Molly:
That question suggests that you have one shot and if you do it wrong your baby is going to manipulate you forever…
I believe that they are living, growing, evolving… you can always undo bad habits and create new ones.
Dr. Max:
That’s a clear example of taking parenting styles to the extreme.
There is no right way to raise your child. What works for you and your family is going to be different.
So when you hear this parenting advice… it’s like “if you do this then this will happen”… none of that’s true.
What’s true is what works for you and your family at that moment in time.
Awkward Moment
Q:
What is one of the most uncomfortable moments as a parent?
Molly:
My son started getting boners when I would change him and I was deeply concerned that I was arousing him in some way…
I never really asked Dr. Max… I just got freaked out.
Dr. Max:
That’s totally normal.
It’s like when they pee, they’ll get a little bit of blood flow to the penis… it’s just a reflex.
It’s not anything related to sexual arousal by any means.
Molly:
Okay, phew!
Eye & Hair Color
Q:
When will we know our baby’s eye color and hair color?
Molly looking at her child:
I would like to know definitively!
Dr. Max:
Eye color… three months you’ll see a trend, and six months you’ll usually know.
Hair color usually will change drastically… they’re usually born with lighter hair and then it will get darker… around four years.
Daycare Guilt
Q:
Is it bad that daycare drop-off is sometimes the best part of my day?
Molly:
Love the honesty.
Dr. Max:
I really do believe that children have been raised in community for most of human existence.
When our nanny shows up on Monday morning I’m like, “oh great!”—but it’s not that I don’t want to see my child.
Also, I think sometimes your child gets bored with you… and that’s okay!
I don’t think you should feel guilty at all about needing time apart. It’s so normal.
Breastfeeding vs Formula
Q:
When can I switch to formula?
Molly:
I put a lot of pressure on myself… I was on flights pumping… storing milk everywhere…
It was too much.
Once I started using formula, I felt like I was able to go back to work and actually give my all to both parts of my life.
I will start formula sooner next time.
Dr. Max:
It’s funny. There are cultural swings… like “formula is best,” then “breastfeeding is best.”
It’s not an all or nothing thing.
The truth is 75% of families will choose to combo feed by six months.
So if using formula is making you feel isolated… it’s really not the case. Most families are doing that.
Short answer: whenever is best for you and your family.
Picky Eating
Q:
We have a 15-month-old and now she’s not eating her vegetables. We just don’t want her to be a “quesadilla baby.” What do we do?
Molly:
I have a couple of answers. Sometimes it’s a textural thing, so it’s not necessarily the flavor but the texture of a vegetable—however you’re cooking it—that they just don’t want. So changing the texture sometimes can help.
Like making a pasta bolognese and throwing vegetables in there.
It’s also 15 months—they’re really pushing boundaries and wanting control.
The open-ended question I see a lot is “what do you want to eat?”—and that’s too overwhelming. They understand more than they can say, so that question is just too infinite.
Two choices is better—“do you want broccoli or carrots?”
And if the answer is neither, I feel like the human need to eat will eventually set in.
A lot of times I feel like my son just wants bread because he’s not even that hungry—he’s bored.
If they don’t eat for a meal, I’m not afraid of that. I’m like, okay, you’ll eat at the next one when you’re hungry.
Dr. Max:
Yeah, and I agree with that entirely.
The biggest misconception is that kids are machines and need to eat three meals a day with snacks in between.
We don’t do that always as adults. Sometimes I skip meals because I’m not hungry or I’m busy, and your kid may do the same.
They may not have a meal because they’re not hungry—and that’s okay.
Closing
Thank you to all who attended and donated. Every dollar raised went directly to Lucha/Poder Popular, helping sustain their food pantry and community center while supporting mothers and families as they navigate the complex legal challenges faced by immigrant farmworkers. We are so grateful and proud to be a part of this community.
With thanks,
Dr. Max
Medical Disclaimer
This article reflects a live Q&A conversation and is intended for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individualized medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your healthcare provider with questions about your child’s health.